The first time I felt your presence was in my elementary days. I think I was about nine or even ten, and I still didn’t know how to react to you. During this time, I met “I” and it was toward him that you showed me how you felt. In fact I don’t think you were already in your full form back then — you were still just a little “C,” just like in the song of Jennifer Paige. 😉
Fast forward to high school, somewhere in between my junior and senior years, you appeared again! This time, you didn’t use only one “medium,” you used two! Let’s call them “E” and “Q1.” 🙂 “E” — well what about him? Yeah, he was cute, has a nice smile, and surely knew how to make a teenage girl feel “kilig.” But now that I think of it, I believe one of the major factors why I liked him was because he came from my “dream school.” And back then, that was a major pogi point for me! But you know what, that’s just it! He was as “blue” as his alma mater is! 😛 [The Lady’s Note: I’m referring to ONLY this person and I’m NOT overgeneralizing, okay? So peace to y’all!] As for “Q1,” well he was nice. He did make me feel special and he made me feel “kilig” for a few months. He was in fact THIS|CLOSE to being my first boyfriend! But c’mon, why did he even have to be graduating the same year he asked me that one question on that year’s prom night? Sigh. I guess I just have to be thankful for the time when my ate reminded me that there are “many fish” in the sea, so I don’t have to feel sad that I let go of “E” and “Q1.” AND SHE WAS RIGHT.
By the time I entered college, I think you took a whole different route! During my first ever term, you sort of introduced the word “kimchi” to me. But of course that didn’t last — at least nothing compared to WHO came next! By my second term, I think you finally had it. I’m so sorry that I refused to accept you through “I,” “E,” “Q1,” and even “kimchi” — but why did you have to turn your back on me when I was finally ready? And of all the “mediums” you chose, why did it have to be him? Fine, I’ll just call him “Q2.” I don’t need to elaborate anymore but we both know that it was through “Q2” that you taught me a LESSON — with a FIVE-YEAR LESSON PLAN! I already knew that you can start from a little “C,” and then develop into i-n-f-a-t-u-a-t-i-o-n. But unlike the first four “mediums” you chose, why did you have to use “Q2” to show me your “U” side — your UNREQUITED side! Seriously, I didn’t think you had it in you! 😦 But of course you do have it and you did make me feel it BIG TIME! Hello, you practically gave me FIVE YEARS of sleepless nights, frenemies here and there, and not to mention puffy eyes just because of the way you made me feel toward “Q2!” It was a five-year lesson plan that I’ll never forget for the rest of my life! And yes, it did take a looong time but at least I can finally say that I’ve moved on. Besides, I knew in myself that I had to, at least SOONER or LATER. So I repeat, NAKA-MOVE ON NA’KO, OKAY?! But one fact remains: “Q2” IS, WAS, and WILL ALWAYS BE my first
love. “Always” (Yuuuck! Sooo “Severus Snape!” But it’s TRUE! Hahaha!)
Anyway, in the present… I don’t know. It’s like you’re showing yourself again but I’m not so sure how to feel anymore. This time, the “medium” you chose is like my ideal man, my so-called “commoner prince” — the exact person who has ALL the things in my “checklist!” But why is it that what I feel for him can’t even seem to transition from a little crush, to infatuation, and eventually to your full form? WHY??? It’s like your five-year lesson plan made me numb! Can you not confuse me, please? Not this time! You’ve already showed me how to feel your full form for the “first” time… What I’m looking for now is your “great” form. You’ve already convinced me that my “first love” isn’t my “great love”… so what now? He may
or may not be “Mr. Commoner Prince” but you’ll do show me my “great love,” right? Sooner or later too, RIGHT??? Well then, I guess I just have to wait and see. Just so you know, I’m in no hurry; I’m. just. plain. CURIOUS. 😀
Answer me soon, alright? You owe me one! Haha!
Your loving friend,