Category Archives: Relationships

all about family, friendships, marriage, etc.

*FAITH, Books, Relationships, Reviews

Just a (Royal) Thought: “Spare” by Prince Harry

So, I finished reading Spare by Prince Harry in just three days. Those close to me know that I’ve always been an Anglophile ever since I was young (I used to joke that I could pass as someone who graduated with a degree in Bachelor of Arts in History, Major in Royal Studies – if there ever was one! LOL!) — mostly due to my childhood crush on Prince William, which then transitioned to my admiration for his wife, Kate Middleton… then I visited the U.K. in 2016 and somehow my Anglophilia subsided after that. Add to that binge-watching The Crown on Netflix and suddenly, my overall “fairytale” view on the British Royal Family faded slowly.

I realized that I became fascinated with the British royal family because on the outside, they were the epitome of living the ideal (if not perfect) life. Blame it on Disney for adding fuel to my already burning interest for princes and princesses while growing up! But if there’s one thing I learned about the royal family, they’re just like any other family – imperfect, with human beings (sometimes borderline “human doings”) as family members, and a little bit dysfunctional just like the rest of us. And I don’t mean this in a bad way because truth betold, we’re all “broken” in one way or another.

“They can’t break me, I thought. Is it, I wondered, because I’m already broken?”

from “Spare” by Prince Harry

And that’s basically the overall theme I got from reading this book: brokenness. Ever heard of the term “hurt people, hurt people”? It was obvious that Prince Harry has unresolved issues and trauma within his family (all the way back from his childhood), especially because of what happened to his late mother, Princess Diana (may she rest in peace).

Prince Harry is a hurt person (aren’t we all?) and writing this book is somehow a way for him to cope. But since that “hurt” isn’t completely healed yet, he somehow “hurt” others, too, along the way — especially his family, the royal family, unfortunately.

I picked up this book because as mentioned, I’ve always been interested in the British royal family (albeit not as interested as before). What I liked about the book is first, as Prince Harry claims it, the source is himself — straight from the horse’s mouth although ghostwritten by another author. He talked about his unresolved grief about his mother’s death, his military experience, his relationship with his family (current King Charles III which he calls Pa; Prince William which he calls Willy; and the late queen, Queen Elizabeth II, which he calls Granny — may she rest in peace as well), his love story with his wife, Meghan Markle, and their growing family, and of course, his unending anger toward the British press (referred to as “paps” in the book, short for “paparazzi”). I find everything in the book relatable — even though he’s from the royal family, Prince Harry definitely gave me a glimpse of how imperfect his life is, how imperfect being a royal is — and that’s okay because yes, at the end of the day, they’re still just human beings like the rest of the world when stripped off of those titles, wealth, and whatnot. Plus, I valued my status as a “private citizen” more after reading all about his horrible experience caused by the media (and yet many people still chase after fame in this day and age — be careful what you wish for!).

Then there’s the part that I don’t like: well, it’s basically the underlying (or maybe unconscious?) motive of revenge on his own family members through words. As a devout Roman Catholic striving everyday (you know this blog’s theme, right?), I truly believe in Sr. Lucia dos Santos‘ message that the “decisive battle between the kingdom of Christ and Satan will be over marriage and the family.” Yes, MARRIAGE and the FAMILY. Just look at what’s happening in our broken world today. And well, Prince Harry sure did prove this message with the way he wrote his book. Then again, we already established the fact that hurt people have a tendency to hurt others in return; I can only pray for Prince Harry that his acknowledgment of his brokenness (see quote above) will truly pave the way for his healing — and despite a very challenging feat by the looks of it, reconciliation with his royal family members… eventually.

Okay, the aforementioned “battle” needs to be discussed in another post altogether. I suggest you read Prince Harry‘s memoir, Spare, with an open mind to get a glimpse on his struggles and whatnot. However, if you end up hating and even blaming him or any of his family members after reading the book (which is quite the tendency), maybe just offer a prayer for them. I’m not one to impose my faith and religion on another person because that is a unique and personal journey for each of us. This isn’t about taking sides nor supporting this and that because at the end of the day, who are we to judge? We all have our daily struggles to begin with. So if you can’t pray for them, maybe just remember that not. one. of. us. is perfect and just like us, Prince Harry and the British royal family have their own struggles to deal with. It’s just unfortunate for them that they’ve been public figures from the time they were born.

At the end of it all, it all comes down to LOVE. That’s all we seek, really. It just so happens that in our imperfect and broken world, we search for love without realizing that we’re looking in all the wrong places and outlets. Hence, the vicious cycle of brokenness across generations. So help us God. *hint, hint*

TO GOD BE THE GLORY ALWAYS AND FOREVER!

❤

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue; those who choose one shall eat its fruit.’”
-Proverbs 18:21

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*FAITH, *MOTHERHOOD, Down Memory Lane, Marked on the Calendar, Mi Familia y Mi Amigos

My Birth Story, etc.

December 14, 2020. It was supposed to be just another ordinary “check-up” day. I was expected to give birth any day that month but based on my previous check-ups, my cervix wasn’t cooperating. I was stuck at 1cm for the past two weeks.

When my OB-GYN (shout-out to Dra. Ceres Nazareno of Manila Doctors Hospital — if you’re pregnant or in need of an OB-GYN, I highly recommend her!!!) told me to have two tests on that day (biophysical profile score and non-stress test), it turned out that my amniotic fluid was leaking. My entire pregnancy was healthy and smooth-sailing (except maybe for the first trimester nausea and vomiting! LOL!), so learning that my amniotic fluid wasn’t enough anymore at 39 weeks was a surprise. Since I’m already at full term, my OB-GYN decided to induce my labor. At 39 weeks, there’s no point for my baby boy (we found out at 35 weeks that he’s actually a BOY!!!) to further his stay at hotel utero when it wasn’t safe anymore. I was immediately admitted, and my plans on having brunch at a coffee shop after my supposed check-up was replaced by hospital food.

My Firstborn’s Birthday: December 15, 2020

I was admitted at Monday morning and gave birth at Tuesday evening. My husband wasn’t allowed inside the labor and delivery rooms (it’s the protocol of my hospital even before the pandemic), so I stayed in the labor room all by myself for almost 31 hours surrounded by unfamiliar faces of OB-GYN residents and nurses manning their shifts. In between those hours, I experienced the most painful physical pain in my life so far — from the contractions to the repetitive internal exams (IE) of my cervix. But no tears came from my eyes; just constant begging from the residents to stop what they’re doing to me (haha). To which they replied that I needed “pain” to deliver my baby. True enough, as my cervix dilated one centimeter at a time, the pain just got more intense. I think at 5cm, I was sedated and already given an epidural —- but I couldn’t really remember the exact details because I was already groggy from all the meds being given to me.

I’m thankful that my prayers were answered, though. Not exactly the way I imagined them to be, but as always, God’s plans are better. For the past nine months, my constant prayer (with constant intercession by Mama Mary) was to have a healthy and safe pregnancy and baby, and a pain-free/painless delivery as much as possible. I had more specific prayers in between those and in fairness, most of them were answered — including having some familiar faces when I give birth (three of the pediatricians who were allowed to be with me in the delivery room were friends: two are of my sister’s [shout-out to Doc Maan – also my baby’s pedia!; and Doc Faye – a neonatologist who “caught” my baby boy right after I delivered him and helped me with my breastfeeding journey]; the other is a friend from my Catholic prayer meeting, The Feast [shout-out to Doc David!]). Add to that the fact that in both the labor and delivery rooms, a crucifix was consistently in my line of sight (when I was still in pain due to the contractions, all I did was stare at the crucifix and be reminded of Jesus’ suffering, too). After the epidural, my prayer of an almost pain-free/painless delivery was granted, and it was like I was in a trance and every thing happened in a blur. While 10cm dilated and on the way to the delivery room, my OB-GYN even commented that I’m such a calm patient because I wasn’t complaining, and it looked like I didn’t feel any pain and was at peace. Upon arriving at the delivery room, it took me around five pushes before my baby finally came out. One of the OB-GYN residents said that I had a “good push” so thanks to all the squats and deadlifts I did prior to getting pregnant because pushing involved A LOT of strong leg muscles! So yeah, when I find myself in the gym *SOON*, those are the two non-negotiable exercises I’ll do again — plus planks! 😉

Anyway, I still didn’t cry when my baby was handed to me in the delivery room. Like I said, I was so groggy I was just going with the flow of events. We did have immediate skin-to-skin contact and he was able to breastfeed already (colostrum was already present in my breasts a few weeks even before I gave birth, thank God!). It was only in the regular room, though, when tears of joy started to flow from my eyes — the moment when I held my baby boy in my arms and it finally sunk in that I’m already a mother.

You know those stories you hear about love at first sight? I always wondered what that feels like. And on that day, I finally felt it. ❤

But wait, there’s more…

Postpartum: #TeamNoSleep, Breastfeeding,
and My Baby’s First Christmas… in the Hospital

Since I delivered via normal spontaneous delivery (NSD), I was able to go home with my baby two days after giving birth. To be honest, now that I’m in the fourth trimester (postpartum stage), I can say that giving birth is the easiest in this whole parenting thing! Wahahahaha!

First, I had postpartum complications such as gestational hypertension (first time in my life to have high blood pressure (BP)! I even had to be under the care of a cardiologist), anemia (I almost had blood transfusion), and bipedal edema (my legs and feet looked like they were about to pop!!!). My OB-GYN reassured me that I was still in the so-called “puerperium” — the first six weeks after delivery — so I shouldn’t worry much. Now that I’m past that, I’m happy to say that I finally recovered from those (although my cardiologist advised me to continue monitoring my BP at least once a week).

Next, I often heard that once the baby arrives, I have to bid goodbye to my sweet dreams and at least eight hours of sleep… well, I’m telling you that that’s an understatement. Haha! From the time I was in the labor room until I got home, I literally got about only three hours of shut-eye (not counting the hours when I was sedated). Add to that my breastfeeding struggles during the first few weeks as a first-time mom…

Three days after we were discharged, we went back to the hospital because my baby suddenly had poor activity and suddenly couldn’t latch properly, which made him dehydrated. We had to go to the pediatric emergency room and I felt like Mama Mary witnessing the Sorrowful Mysteries as I watched my little baby boy being poked and pricked with needles on both his tiny hands and feet (the doctors had a hard time inserting an I.V. because of his delicate veins) and as it’s hospital protocol, have a swab test — yes, a SWAB TEST on a newborn! Ouch!!! I kept crying the whole time those things were being done to him, though I’m proud to say that my brave and strong baby boy was able to recover quickly from his cries.

Since my husband and I didn’t have valid negative swab tests at that time, we had to leave our baby in the hospital for two days. He stayed at the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit or NICU while we waited for our negative swab test results (dang this pandemic, really!). Once we had the negative results, we were allowed to be with him and transferred to a regular room. As it turned out, our baby was diagnosed with sepsis and he had to undergo antibiotics — which meant staying for a whole week in the hospital.

To make the long story short, the doctors traced the time my water bag ruptured before I gave birth. It happened 12 hours before, making my baby susceptible to infection and no one’s to blame; it just really happens sometimes. We spent our baby’s first Christmas in the hospital, and the few people who knew about this were our families and selected close friends (thank you for your prayers!). 🙂

Having shared that, I can attest how brave and strong our baby boy is. So whenever he cries during vaccinations or whatnot, I always remind him that he’s been through worse (even a swab test at a very tender age!), so that somehow also made our little family of three stronger and tougher too.

Anyway, my takeaway from this is it’s really hard to be a parent especially during these trying times. It takes a village to raise a child, so I’m grateful for all the help and support me and my husband are receiving from our loved ones. Also, I’m praying for all the pregnant women and women like me in the postpartum stage during this pandemic — our children are “batch mates” and always believe that we. can. do. this!!! 😀

—

TO GOD BE THE GLORY ALWAYS AND FOREVER!

❤

“When a woman is in labor, she is in anguish because her hour has arrived; but when she has given birth to a child, she no longer remembers the pain because of her joy that a child has been born into the world.”
-John 16:21

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*FAITH, *MARRIAGE

Expecting

I’ve been M.I.A. on the blog for the past few months because as you read on the title, me and my husband are pregnant! And yes, we’re expecting a baby girl!!! ❤

It’s not exactly a “honeymoon baby.”  But when I took a home pregnancy test two months after our wedding, there they were: the most sought after “two lines” of married couples like us who already want to have a child. I was around 5 weeks then. The following week, I started to experience “morning sickness” (which actually lasted all day long!) until my 19th week!! To be honest, being on lockdown and working from home became a huge blessing in disguise for me because I couldn’t imagine going to the office during my first trimester until the early days of my second trimester. The nausea and vomiting, including some gastrointestinal issues, not to mention my allergic rhinitis that worsened during some of those weeks (I even had a swab test just to be sure! And thank God I was negative for COVID-19, and I claim in Jesus’ name that we’ll forever be negative from that virus!!), were really just excruciating and frustrating. The factors that kept me going were, of course, my faith (knowing that to suffer means to share in Jesus’ suffering, too), my husband’s unconditional love (he had to do everything in our humble abode since I had no energy whatsoever to do any chores! LOL), and the fact that they say “morning sickness” is a sign of a healthy pregnancy with surging hormones and all that.

On my 19th week (the last week of my nausea/vomiting), though, I started to feel my baby move in my tummy and that’s the silver lining of all that I’ve been through in the weeks before that! 😀 The rest of my second trimester is all about tests here and there, including the ultrasound that made us find out the gender. But overall, it’s my favorite so far even though I also started gaining weight already — no biggie since I know it’s what’s best for the baby and I’m trying to gain at a normal rate. I also try to still get some prenatal exercise, mostly low impact cardio which I can comfortably do at home. My favorite so far is “Body Fit by Amy” on YouTube — check out her channel, fellow preggy women! Haha! Just make sure you have your OB-GYN’s go signal, okay? 😉

Now that I’m about to enter my third trimester, of course, the best is yet to come! I’m due in December (yes, a “Christmas” baby!) and I’m really contemplating on requesting to play Jose Mari Chan‘s famous Christmas album while I’m in labor to somehow ease the impending pain! Wahahahaha! Seriously. I’m not joking. 😛 We’ll see, though, because as any woman who has given birth would tell you, no “birth plan” really goes according to, well, the exact plan! That’s why I’m already trying to set my mind to be open as long as me and my baby will be safe and healthy. That’s what matters most, anyway. 🙂

By the way, we decided to name her after the Archangel Raphael even before we found out the gender. These days, his intercession is often asked to help heal the world from this pandemic we’re going through. But to be honest, even before I met my husband, I already decided to name my first baby after St. Raphael because of the big role he played in my life when I was still single (my close ministry friends know this!). Thank God my husband agreed! Hehe!

our baby’s name is Raphaela Faith a.k.a. “Rafa”

And that’s my pregnancy journey so far. My husband and I still have a few months to go before we enter a new season in life: parenthood. We ask that you pray for us, our baby Rafa, and all my fellow pregnant women in the world during these trying times.

I, thank you!!!

—

TO GOD BE THE GLORY ALWAYS AND FOREVER!

❤

“Children are a gift from the Lord;
they are a real blessing.”
-Psalm 127:3

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